Talk About It If It Keeps You Here

I was scrolling on TikTok the other day when I came across a video that made me pause, rewind, and listen again. A young woman was sharing a story from the night before. She had been at a bar, having one of those unexpectedly deep conversations with a stranger. The topic? Grief and mental health, two things that often walk side by side, though we rarely give them space in everyday conversations.

She told him, “I just feel like my friends are annoyed with me because it’s all I talk about lately. I feel like I talk about my loss too much.”

The stranger didn’t rush to comfort her with clichés or change the subject. Instead, he put his drink down, looked her straight in the eyes, and said:

“Talk about it if it keeps you here.”

She said she got goosebumps. Honestly, so did I.

Because how many of us have been there? Wanting to talk about our pain, but second-guessing ourselves. Wondering if we’re exhausting the people around us. Thinking, I’ve told this story already. Maybe I should just keep it to myself.

But here’s the thing: silence doesn’t always mean healing. Silence can sometimes mean isolation. And the truth is, there is no such thing as talking about your grief, your struggles, your loss too much. If speaking about it is what helps you survive another day, then speak. If sharing your story is what helps you breathe through the weight of it all, then share. A hundred times. A thousand times. Until you feel lighter.

As we begin Suicide Prevention Month, this video feels like the exact reminder we all need. That keeping people here, keeping you here, is worth more than anything else. And if words, conversations, and vulnerable honesty are the lifeline, then let them flow.

To those who are struggling right now: You are not a burden. You are not “too much.” Your presence matters more than you can possibly know. Please keep talking. Keep writing. Keep reaching out. The people who truly love you would rather hear the same story a hundred times than never hear your voice again.

To those standing beside someone who is hurting: It’s not easy. Sometimes you won’t know what to say. Sometimes you’ll feel helpless. That’s okay. What matters most is that you stay. That you listen. That you show up again and again, even in small ways. You don’t need to fix their pain, you only need to remind them they are not walking through it alone.

To those who have lost someone to suicide: There are no words big enough for your grief. The hole left behind can feel endless, and the questions without answers can weigh so heavily. Please know your grief is valid. Talking about your loved one, missing them out loud, honoring their story, this is not “too much.” It is love refusing to be silent.

This month is not only about preventing loss, it is about building compassion. It is about reminding ourselves and each other that the human heart was not designed to carry everything in silence. Talking about mental health, grief, and pain is not weakness, it is survival.

So if you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, scream. If you need to tell the same story again and again, tell it. Do whatever keeps you here.

And for those of us listening: let’s not measure patience by the number of times we’ve heard the story. Let’s measure love by the fact that we’re still here, still listening, still holding space.

The stranger at the bar was right. Words can keep us alive. Connection can keep us alive.

So please, talk about it if it keeps you here.
We are listening. We are with you. Always.

Special shout out to @laurenjnicole on TikTok, you are a gem.

Author: Sonie Annick Akaliza, mHub Rwanda, 2025-09-01

If you would like to reach out to speak to someone, please contact mHub on email: info@mhub-africa.org or call 0785-318416.

What is the meaning of life? It is a question that has been subject of debate for centuries. It is certainly not a question that I have the answer to. However, I am slowly discovering what gives my life meaning. Insignificant as that may sound, I find it remarkably powerful.

When I was admitted to the flight academy to become an airline pilot, nearly 25 years ago, a childhood dream came true. However, from the start of my career something felt off. I was struggling to find my way, I felt stressed and purposeless. Once I realized that my dream hadn’t turned out exactly as I had imagined it, I started to look for help. Most of the professional help I received was aimed at working on my weaknesses, to deal with the challenges of the job. Did it help? To some extend. I was able to function, but I wasn’t exactly thriving.

Things changed after I was introduced to the field of positive psychology (Seligman & Csikszentmihalyi, 2000). As opposed to traditional psychology, which focuses on what’s wrong, positive psychology asks: ‘What makes life worth living?’. It focuses on talents, passions, core values and finding meaning, and gives guidance on how to live a happy and fulfilling life. Getting my core values and passions clear helped me find some direction and meaning in my life, and it led to significant changes.

Writing this blog, I have recently left my old job and am doing an internship at mHub – Rwanda. I am surrounded by people with whom I share core values and passions. I feel like I am contributing to something that is important to me: helping others improve their mental health. And it gives me a sense of meaning and belonging. Does that mean there are no difficulties? Certainly not: work can still be stressful, challenging, tiring. But there is an important difference: working on something that gives my life meaning makes it worth it, and I am feeling quite happy doing so.

Another testimony to the value of meaning is the story of Alain, a former drug user whom I met here in Rwanda, who turned his negative life experience into something positive. With his organisation, STEPS Initiative, he raises awareness on mental health issues and addiction among adolescents. Sharing his life experience gives a positive meaning to the struggles he had to go through, while being able to contribute to others gives him a sense of purpose. His remarkable comeback from a seemingly hopeless situation into a passionate and dedicated expert, is a strong illustration of the power of meaning.

These examples show that positive psychology has a lot of potential. Focussing on your talents and passions helps you to not just endure life, but to flourish. And finding meaning can increase feelings of fulfillment, happiness and life satisfaction. These positive states of mind help you endure the hardships that, inevitably, are also part of life.

So, take a moment to reflect on your passions, values, and what gives meaning to your life. Allow it to give you direction. A fulfilling future lies ahead.

Author: Jöran Schakenraad,  mHub intern, 1 August 2025

Literature

Seligman, M. E. P., & Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2000). Positive Psychology: An Introduction. American Psychologist, 55(1), 5-14.

Prevention, treatment, and recovery for all!

In every corner of our beautiful Rwanda, lives are full of promise. Our communities are strong, our youth are talented, and our future is bright. Yet, like many places around the world, we are also facing a silent challenge that continues to affect individuals and families alike: the growing burden of drug and substance abuse.

This June, in partnership with the Rwanda Biomedical Centre (RBC) and STEPS Initiative, we are launching a powerful and inclusive campaign under the theme: “Breaking the Chains: Prevention, Treatment, and Recovery for All!” This initiative is not just about raising awareness. It is about standing together as a nation to say “no” to stigma and “yes” to support, healing, and hope.

A crisis that needs everyone’s engagement and time

Drug abuse is not a matter of moral failure. It is a complex issue that can touch anyone, young or old, rich or poor, rural or urban. Whether it’s out of curiosity, peer pressure, trauma, or mental health challenges, the reasons people turn to drugs are deeply human. And so, our response must also be deeply human.

We must move beyond blame and judgment. We must listen. We must support. We must open the doors to education, to treatment, and to second chances.

Behind each case is a story, many of them rooted in hardship. Young people are not just looking for a high. Many are looking for a way out of emotional or social pain. Poverty, trauma, unemployment, or peer pressure, these are just some of the forces that push them toward drugs. But what begins as a way to cope often becomes a trap – one that is excruciatingly hard to escape from without help.

Addiction Is not a choice, it’s an illness

It’s easy to judge. It’s easy to say someone just needs more discipline or stronger morals. But addiction is not that simple.

Addiction is a chronic illness, a medical condition that changes the brain and affects behavior. It affects decision-making, emotional control, and physical health. And like any illness, it can most certainly not be solved with shame. It requires treatment, support, education, patience, understanding, and time.

Sadly, many of our brothers and sisters battling addiction never receive that help. Not because they don’t want it, but because they’re afraid. Afraid of being labeled, rejected, or punished. This fear leads to silence. That silence leads to suffering.

The power of community and change

Thankfully, Rwanda has begun to shift the narrative. We are moving away from viewing addiction as a crime or moral failure, and instead, embracing the as the public health issue it is.

Treatment centers like the Icyizere Psychotherapeutic Centre are already offering counseling and rehabilitation. Schools are starting to include drug education, and health workers are being trained to support people with substance use disorders, not just treat their symptoms, but walk with them through recovery.

But the most powerful change happens not in institutions, but in communities. Healing happens in homes, in churches, in youth groups, in families. When someone struggling with addiction is met with understanding instead of judgment, their path to recovery becomes real.

Prevention begins with us

The best way to fight addiction is to prevent it before it begins. That starts with education and knowledge. It starts with talking to our children, creating safe spaces where they feel heard. It starts in classrooms and living rooms, where young people are given the tools and guidance to make healthy decisions during times of adversity and struggle.

Every Rwandan has a role to play:

• Parents, talk to your children before the streets do.
• Teachers, look for the signs and act with care.
• Youth, be brave enough to choose a different path, and help your friends do the same.
• Faith and community leaders, be a voice of compassion and strength.

Recovery is real, and it belongs to everyone

To anyone struggling with substance use: You are not alone. Recovery is possible. You are not your addiction. You are a valued person with dignity, a future, and a role in society.

Getting help is not weakness. It is courage. And no one should have to walk the path to recovery by themselves.

We must stand together and create a Rwanda where recovery is seen as a human right, not a privilege. Where support is within reach, and no one is too far gone to be welcomed back.

Real stories, real hope

Across Rwanda, there are stories that inspire. Stories of young men and women who were once trapped by drugs, but with the help of their families, communities, and faith, they came back. They are now studying, working, leading, and giving back.

These stories are not miracles, they are proof. Proof that with the right support, anyone can rise above addiction. That’s why this campaign matters. Because it shows us that change is possible when we come together.

What will you do?

You don’t need to wear a uniform or have a title to make a difference.

You can:

• Learn the signs of addiction and share accurate information.
• Talk to your children or siblings today, not tomorrow.
• Support someone who is trying to recover.
• Speak up against stigma when you hear it.
• Choose kindness every time.

Behind every addiction is a human being. And behind every recovery is a community that chose to care.

Together, we can break the chains

This year’s anti-drug campaign is not just a warning. It is a promise, a promise to build a Rwanda that is healthier, more compassionate, and more united than ever.

As we launch this campaign on June 16th, we invite you to reflect on this:

• What part will I play?
• Whose story can I change?
• How can my kindness, time, or voice be part of someone’s healing?

Let us break the chains of stigma, silence, and despair.

Let us build a future where prevention, treatment, and recovery are not just policies, but promises for all.

Together, we rise. Together, we heal. Together, we break the chains.

Author: Sonie Annick Akaliza, mHub Rwanda, 2025-06-23

For further information about addiction treatment and prevention, please contact mHub on email: info@mhub-africa.org or call 0785-318416.