Talk about it if it keeps you here

Talk About It If It Keeps You Here

I was scrolling on TikTok the other day when I came across a video that made me pause, rewind, and listen again. A young woman was sharing a story from the night before. She had been at a bar, having one of those unexpectedly deep conversations with a stranger. The topic? Grief and mental health, two things that often walk side by side, though we rarely give them space in everyday conversations.

She told him, “I just feel like my friends are annoyed with me because it’s all I talk about lately. I feel like I talk about my loss too much.”

The stranger didn’t rush to comfort her with clichés or change the subject. Instead, he put his drink down, looked her straight in the eyes, and said:

“Talk about it if it keeps you here.”

She said she got goosebumps. Honestly, so did I.

Because how many of us have been there? Wanting to talk about our pain, but second-guessing ourselves. Wondering if we’re exhausting the people around us. Thinking, I’ve told this story already. Maybe I should just keep it to myself.

But here’s the thing: silence doesn’t always mean healing. Silence can sometimes mean isolation. And the truth is, there is no such thing as talking about your grief, your struggles, your loss too much. If speaking about it is what helps you survive another day, then speak. If sharing your story is what helps you breathe through the weight of it all, then share. A hundred times. A thousand times. Until you feel lighter.

As we begin Suicide Prevention Month, this video feels like the exact reminder we all need. That keeping people here, keeping you here, is worth more than anything else. And if words, conversations, and vulnerable honesty are the lifeline, then let them flow.

To those who are struggling right now: You are not a burden. You are not “too much.” Your presence matters more than you can possibly know. Please keep talking. Keep writing. Keep reaching out. The people who truly love you would rather hear the same story a hundred times than never hear your voice again.

To those standing beside someone who is hurting: It’s not easy. Sometimes you won’t know what to say. Sometimes you’ll feel helpless. That’s okay. What matters most is that you stay. That you listen. That you show up again and again, even in small ways. You don’t need to fix their pain, you only need to remind them they are not walking through it alone.

To those who have lost someone to suicide: There are no words big enough for your grief. The hole left behind can feel endless, and the questions without answers can weigh so heavily. Please know your grief is valid. Talking about your loved one, missing them out loud, honoring their story, this is not “too much.” It is love refusing to be silent.

This month is not only about preventing loss, it is about building compassion. It is about reminding ourselves and each other that the human heart was not designed to carry everything in silence. Talking about mental health, grief, and pain is not weakness, it is survival.

So if you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, scream. If you need to tell the same story again and again, tell it. Do whatever keeps you here.

And for those of us listening: let’s not measure patience by the number of times we’ve heard the story. Let’s measure love by the fact that we’re still here, still listening, still holding space.

The stranger at the bar was right. Words can keep us alive. Connection can keep us alive.

So please, talk about it if it keeps you here.
We are listening. We are with you. Always.

Special shout out to @laurenjnicole on TikTok, you are a gem.

Author: Sonie Annick Akaliza, mHub Rwanda, 2025-09-01

If you would like to reach out to speak to someone, please contact mHub on email: info@mhub-africa.org or call 0785-318416.